As I sit here broken hearted and with tears literally rushing down my face, I can't help but ask over and over again "What the fuck are we doing?"
I feel really alone. Maybe it's just that I have not connected myself with the right people, or am spending my time around the wrong environments. All I know is that I feel a huge responsibility, but also completely helpless. There is so much hurt, pain and devastation in the world and it can be solved, I truly believe that, so why does it feel like the majority of humans just don't give a fuck!
I know I am going through another stage of massive growth where I am feeling a greater responsibility as a human, and as enlightening as it is, it is tough. I am finding it increasingly more difficult to focus and work on my businesses because I am drawn to read more, research, watch documentaries and educate myself further on more important issues. I have such a strong belief in women but I feel that our genius and gifts are being wasted. It seems like no one can see the bigger picture. The idea that in life we all have a greater purpose on this planet and we need to reach our potential and not settle for meaningless shit that we have been brainwashed as a society to believe is important.
The environment is being destroyed, people are starving and in pain, animals are being hurt and mistreated, yet all we seem to care about is money, status and our own selfish wants. I don't blame people in general or harbour resentment. What I believe in my heart is that people don't know what they don't know. If people could be shown what is truly happening in our world in a compassionate and understanding way, then I trust people would become more aware and pro-active in the decisions they make each day.
I don't wish for fame or a following for BS ego reasons, but in some way I am questioning myself everyday on how to build my online presence so that I can influence the younger generation of women. I have so many thoughts running through my head in how to deliver a positive and inspiring message, but literally don't know where to start. All I know is that I care. And I care fucking deeply. I want to reach women especially, and inspire them to be epic humans that do great things on this planet and lead future generations to the importance of being a exceptional human. Do I go back to teaching in schools? Do I start to follow the social media trend of sexy photos and showing my body to get that attention? Do I try to get into politics? Do I try to get back into modelling, or maybe presenting?
The planet is hurting. Humans are hurting. We can do better. There is no need for suffering and pain in the planet or any living thing. I don't have the answers but I do know that there is something inside me that was built for greater things and I will work so hard to answer that calling. For now though, I guess writing about it is the best way to start. If my words can open one set of eyes, connect with someone, or move a person in some way, then it all starts there.
I don't know if this post makes sense, nor if any future ones will for some time. Right now it is just important to me to do 'something'.
Peace and Love xx