Feeling Alone? Misunderstood?

Do you often feel alone and misunderstood by other people?

Believe me, you are not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who are misunderstood and even underestimated by others because of certain personality traits. Paradoxically, these individuals are usually much more talented, intelligent and deep than those who reject them. Still, being uninterested in popular things along with being too reserved and introspective may make you appear a sort of freak to the mediocre minds.

It’s all because human beings tend to be cautious and judgemental towards those who live, think and behave differently. So if you don’t share the interests and beliefs of the majority, you will probably face misunderstanding and rejection at some point in your life.

Some may judge you for being too quiet, unfriendly or aloof; others may believe that you are a weirdo because you are passionate about things they cannot understand. It’s not uncommon when even your close ones, such as your parents or your partner, seem to misinterpret your lifestyle and underestimate your passions. No need to say that this can be much more painful than the lack of understanding from people you are not so close to.

So what can you do when you feel alone and misunderstood?

1. Accept the fact that deep people rarely have the privilege to be truly understood by others.

Sometimes, the best way to stop worrying about being misunderstood is to accept it as a reality you cannot change. You need to realize that other people have a different perspective on what’s right or wrong, good or bad, interesting or boring. Unfortunately, most of us don’t even try to actually understand someone – we are too quick to judge because it’s much easier.

So instead of holding grudges and being mad at the world, accept it as a fact and move on. Remember the quote by James Blanchard Cisneros: ‘Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep.’

2. Seek to connect with the right people instead of trying to become more likable to the wrong ones.

It’s pointless to try to connect with people who cannot recognize the depth of your mind and personality in the first place. You will inevitably face misunderstanding and, as a result, will feel alone and disappointed.

The truth is that only a deep individual can appreciate and understand another deep individual. So seek to make connections with people you resonate with and who have a similar level of consciousness.

A good start would be to find individuals who share the same interests with you. Let’s say you are passionate about literature – so why not join a local poetry club. It may be a difficult task if you are socially awkward, but the presence of interesting people who have a common ground with you will eventually make it easier to start a conversation with some of them. You will see how many deep people you will meet and, who knows, some of them may make really great friends.

3. Follow your passion no matter what others think.

The only thing that truly matters is to find your purpose in life and build your lifestyle around it. While your passions and interests may be unpopular, they will eventually help you find your place in life and will fill your existence with meaning. So don’t worry if your dreams and priorities don’t seem “cool” to other people and stop seeking their approval.

I know that it’s much easier said than done, but as soon as you find yourself and your path in life, you will realize that people’s opinion is the last thing that should bother you. Basically, it’s the need to be likable and socially acceptable that makes many of us unhappy (and especially those who are different from the rest).

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel alone and detached from the world and people from time to time. Individuals with a deep personality are particularly prone to these feelings because modern society is driven by ignorance and superficiality. So it makes perfect sense why they may feel like misfits no one really understands and appreciates. However, it’s not like this and be sure that the right people will see your personality in all its beauty and will appreciate you for what you are.

Anna LeMind (writer for ‘The Learning Mind’. I really enjoy reading her articles/blogs)

https://www.learning-mind.com/feel-alone-and-misunderstood/comment-page-1/?platform=hootsuite

Why Must We Justify Our Imperfections?

Why do we have to justify our ‘imperfections’?

We see these posts all the time now from influencers and fitness accounts.

The posting of inspirational photos showing our ‘bad side’, which let’s be honest most photos show such minimal imperfections. Someone posts a photo and points out how they have stomach rolls in certain positions, cellulite in certain lighting, bad skin, etc and write a caption to purportedly make others feel better.

I started to wonder why we are not comfortable in just posting the perceived ‘flaws’ with absolutely NO justification or explanation of these imperfections.

Isn’t that the real truth, actual confidence and the most candid way in helping others?

Posting a photo that shows a part of our body that society deems as something we should ‘fix’ and not actually saying anything.

Wouldn’t that be more inspirational and progressive?

It’s like we say and write all the ‘right’ things but we still have to hide behind the cover of ‘I’m here to prove to you I’m not perfect and look at how genuine I am by sharing my ‘bad side’ with you’, BUT ‘I just need to make sure you know it is my bad side’. Instead of just posting the photo and letting it be. Not drawing attention to it looking for comments about how real you are. Not feeling you need to explain your flaws and making sure people understand it’s not your best picture. Just posting the not perfect photo and carrying on without worrying about what others will think or assume.

Isn’t that real truth?

Look I’m not saying people who post this type of content have ulterior motives but I do have to be honest that every time I see them now the majority of the time I just feel they are fabricated. Just posting the photos, without any mention of society’s perceived flaws under a pretence of ‘being real’ seems more sincere to me. Could it be considered that when we still feel the need to give acknowledgement to society that these are 'actual flaws' we are not really dispelling these long held toxic beliefs?

If we are really sharing it for change and social impact as opposed to our desire to capture ‘likes’ and be seen in a ‘good light’, is it not best to just post it with no justification about the ‘imperfect’ picture?

Is it really fake?

People get so opinionated on what people sell, promote, or recommend online.
‘Stupid fake influencers’
‘Stupid person just trying to make money’

The thing is though, during some point of our lives we ALL have sold something, or been involved in sales of some kind.
“But they don’t even use it, or like it” I hear people say.
So fucking what!

When you go into a clothing store do you think the sales person loves absolutely everything?
Of course not!
They are there to sell and service you for what YOU may want or what YOU are looking for.
Is that fake?
Should they lose their job?
Should they be criticized or denigrated in how they go about making their money?

What about when you go into a restaurant.
Do you think the service people eat or love every single thing on the menu?
Of course not!
They are there to sell and service you for what you may want or what you are looking for.
Is that fake?
Should they lose their job?
Should they be criticized or denigrated in how they go about making their money?

People sell to make money.
It’s a job.
Consider this; when you go to your job or work place (even if you don’t ‘technically’ sell, you still SELL your service), do you agree with absolutely everything that goes on?
Treatment of staff, hours, wages, procedures, lists of duties, how you are treated ?
Of course not!

You are there to sell your service for what is expected within your job description, even when it’s not all in 100% alignment for you.
Is that fake?
Should you lose their job? Should you be criticized or denigrated in how you go about making your money?

‘Working’ and being engaged in life is better than people sitting on their asses gaining benefits from our tax paying money.

We have to appreciate that not everyone has the dream or is cut out, to be doctor, accountant, teacher, manager, emergency services, electrician etc. and that’s ok!
Some people have a different vision for their life and work, and that’s ok.
We aren’t all supposed to like the same things or want the same lives.
If we did then society would collapse.
Every single human is needed to do their thing, in their own way, in the right time.

The world has changed. And is changing. The online world has opened up so many incredible opportunities for the new generations, so who are we to belittle and judge people who take advantage of the new way? Maybe ask the question why it bothers you so much?

It’s time we all stepped up a little individually as a society and started taking a bit more responsibility for our lives in all areas if we are not fulfilled, in place of sitting around wasting our time on what other people choose to do with their lives. This movement towards spewing hate, complaining and blaming everyone and everything else, is ultimately going to do you personally more harm than good.

No one on social media is being forced to follow.
No one on social media is being forced to buy.
No one on social media is being forced to believe.
In fact no one is being forced to do anything.
It’s time to start changing our focus from trying to take down others, to instead teaching children and teenagers (and adults) how to follow their own path, and make their own decisions, while allowing the world to show us different ideas, perspectives, and paths.

If we don’t start to realise the world is full of choices, and accept that they may not align with what is true for you, we will eventually end up with a world full of really oversensitive and irrational people.
People who can’t think for themselves independently, can’t stand up for themselves, can’t self-reflect and learn, can’t experience challenges to lead to growth, or can’t start choosing our own life by seeing all different types of people and different ways to be happy.

There is so much nastiness, judgement and opinions towards online influencers, yet I don’t see anyone in and around shopping centre stores or restaurants abusing people about selling products that they don’t personally use or believe in

I mean honestly, what is the difference between standing in a store, restaurant or shopping centre selling a product or service, or selling it online?

Social Media & Influencers

Lately I’ve kind of changed my perspective a little about social media and influencers.

Maybe it was because I was a bit ‘righteous’ and thinking because I was so full of integrity and morals that I seemed to in my own mind become very ‘judgy’ about the whole social media thing. Yes only in my own head or in private conversations with friends lol...not slamming negativity all over the place online, spewing my opinions, and publicly criticizing people

I was thinking about how much talk there is currently surrounding ‘likes’ being removed off peoples photos and posts, how people ‘blame’ social influencers about everything they have chosen to do with their lives and the impact it’s had on them in different areas of their life. It got me thinking.

I started to think about my own life and experiences and thought it was strange that although I struggled with many issues over my life I literally wouldn’t or couldn’t place any blame on someone else ‘influencing me’. I questioned why I was moving away from this train of thought that was becoming so popular and coming back to the realization that it wasn’t anyone else that was the problem, but the general lack of critical thinking skills and ‘poor me’ mentality that seems to becoming rampant in society. We are becoming a bit ‘soft’ in society when it comes to personal responsibility.

Truth.
In real life not everyone wins.
In real life not everyone gets the amazing genetic body to sculpt into perfection.
In real life not everyone gets to be the best at what they love to do.
In real life not everyone gets to make the big dollars.
In real life not everyone gets to the top of the company.

But you can’t love Olympic sports or support your favorite football team but then say everyone gets a trophy and there should be no score.
You can’t want to improve your health, fitness or body composition but then say that because someone else looks good they are shouldn’t show it off.
You can’t expect a pay rise throughout your own working career if you don’t believe others deserve what they earn.
You can’t expect to live your own life doing what you love if you don’t support others doing the same.

I personally don’t have a huge ‘following’ or get a tonne of ‘likes’ on social media, so why didn’t I care about the Instagram change and cheer like so many for the removal of likes? In all honesty I don’t care. I completely understand the whole self esteem, comparison, body image, self image, self worth etc argument. I see the research and science. But the question is...
Is it again another bandaid solution for a lack of self realization and effort to grow our own self through the challenge of thoughts of comparison and envy? Perhaps the lesson is a part of the journey, even though sometimes it’s rough.

Of course at points of time in my life I have been envious, jealous, compared myself, felt like crap etc, but I had to do the work on myself. I had to spend time reading, sitting with my own thoughts, searching for more information and knowledge, talking to people, talking to professionals etc.

Because the thing is, in life some people are more popular! NOT better, just simply more popular. It’s just how it goes. Some people get more followers, likes, engagement even if we don’t agree that person should be getting that level of attention. The key is to learning to like who you and live your life in the way that feels good for you REGARDLESS of whether the world approves of you, cheers for you or not. It’s not found in hiding likes, to make people feel better and disguise that they aren’t as popular. Because let’s be honest, the photos, perfect body, beautiful filtered photoshopped, staged pictures, dream lives, will still ignite the same feelings of not enough, regardless of whether it has 10 likes of 10,000.

I spoke to a girlfriend of mine who I asked if she felt same way, and she agreed. If we don’t like someone or something we don’t follow. We don’t look at things that make us feel bad about ourselves. I can’t be ‘sold to’ something I don’t want. And if I buy something and I don’t like it I don’t sit and sulk about it or blame others.
I can’t be forced to follow someone else’s life decisions unless they feel like they are a sensible fit for me. If I try something and it’s the wrong fit then I take the lesson and move on with more knowledge to make better decisions next time. Those are learned skills through certain experiences.

Maybe it’s time we invested more into school level education around personal development, life skills and critical thinking. Building our own self worth and self actualisation. Teaching people to write lists of pros and cons, seeing the positives and negatives, looking from all angles, then making an educated and informed decision. Showing people how it’s ok to be different and just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we should hate, dismiss or suppress each other.

Maybe it’s time we refocused and put the responsibility back on ourselves? Maybe it’s time we looked at the things causing us pain and address those things head on?

Social Media & Influencers

Lately I’ve kind of changed my perspective a little about social media and influencers.

Maybe it was because I was a bit ‘righteous’ and thinking because I was so full of integrity and morals that I seemed to in my own mind become very ‘judgy’ about the whole social media thing. Yes only in my own head or in private conversations with friends lol...not slamming negativity all over the place online, spewing my opinions, and publicly criticizing people

I was thinking about how much talk there is currently surrounding ‘likes’ being removed off peoples photos and posts, how people ‘blame’ social influencers about everything they have chosen to do with their lives and the impact it’s had on them in different areas of their life. It got me thinking.

I started to think about my own life and experiences and thought it was strange that although I struggled with many issues over my life I literally wouldn’t or couldn’t place any blame on someone else ‘influencing me’. I questioned why I was moving away from this train of thought that was becoming so popular and coming back to the realization that it wasn’t anyone else that was the problem, but the general lack of critical thinking skills and ‘poor me’ mentality that seems to becoming rampant in society. We are becoming a bit ‘soft’ in society when it comes to personal responsibility.

Truth.
In real life not everyone wins.
In real life not everyone gets the amazing genetic body to sculpt into perfection.
In real life not everyone gets to be the best at what they love to do.
In real life not everyone gets to make the big dollars.
In real life not everyone gets to the top of the company.

But you can’t love Olympic sports or support your favorite football team but then say everyone gets a trophy and there should be no score.
You can’t want to improve your health, fitness or body composition but then say that because someone else looks good they are shouldn’t show it off.
You can’t expect a pay rise throughout your own working career if you don’t believe others deserve what they earn.
You can’t expect to live your own life doing what you love if you don’t support others doing the same.

I personally don’t have a huge ‘following’ or get a tonne of ‘likes’ on social media, so why didn’t I care about the Instagram change and cheer like so many for the removal of likes? In all honesty I don’t care. I completely understand the whole self esteem, comparison, body image, self image, self worth etc argument. I see the research and science. But the question is...
Is it again another bandaid solution for a lack of self realization and effort to grow our own self through the challenge of thoughts of comparison and envy? Perhaps the lesson is a part of the journey, even though sometimes it’s rough.

Of course at points of time in my life I have been envious, jealous, compared myself, felt like crap etc, but I had to do the work on myself. I had to spend time reading, sitting with my own thoughts, searching for more information and knowledge, talking to people, talking to professionals etc.

Because the thing is, in life some people are more popular! NOT better, just simply more popular. It’s just how it goes. Some people get more followers, likes, engagement even if we don’t agree that person should be getting that level of attention. The key is to learning to like who you and live your life in the way that feels good for you REGARDLESS of whether the world approves of you, cheers for you or not. It’s not found in hiding likes, to make people feel better and disguise that they aren’t as popular. Because let’s be honest, the photos, perfect body, beautiful filtered photoshopped, staged pictures, dream lives, will still ignite the same feelings of not enough, regardless of whether it has 10 likes of 10,000.

I spoke to a girlfriend of mine who I asked if she felt same way, and she agreed. If we don’t like someone or something we don’t follow. We don’t look at things that make us feel bad about ourselves. I can’t be ‘sold to’ something I don’t want. And if I buy something and I don’t like it I don’t sit and sulk about it or blame others.
I can’t be forced to follow someone else’s life decisions unless they feel like they are a sensible fit for me. If I try something and it’s the wrong fit then I take the lesson and move on with more knowledge to make better decisions next time. Those are learned skills through certain experiences.

Maybe it’s time we invested more into school level education around personal development, life skills and critical thinking. Building our own self worth and self actualisation. Teaching people to write lists of pros and cons, seeing the positives and negatives, looking from all angles, then making an educated and informed decision. Showing people how it’s ok to be different and just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we should hate, dismiss or suppress each other.

Maybe it’s time we refocused and put the responsibility back on ourselves? Maybe it’s time we looked at the things causing us pain and address those things head on?

Lightworkers

You are a human. 
First.
In recent times we have been mislead, manipulated and distracted to believe the most important things in life are our social status, our jobs and titles, how much stuff we have, and our looks and body.

We are humans. 
We have lost a lot of the connection with what it is to be a human.
First and foremost our job is to be a kind, compassionate, encouraging and helpful humans.

We make such a point about kindness for our children and how horrible bullying is. 
We are focused on the message that the most important thing our children should be is kind and good people.
But yet why aren’t we making the same focus and commitment as adults. It’s like we forget the emphasis on this along the way.

Lightworker.
This has become the most important job for me over the past year. 
Yes I am a health and fitness professional, a qualified teacher, a coach, a wife, daughter, friend and more.
But still my number one job on this planet is a Lightworker. Because a lightworker makes the conscious commitment to being a better person and creating awareness of the bigger picture. 
EVERYTHING evolves from here. 
It is the foundation of my entire life as a human. It makes me value my life, have perspective, love and cherish my family and friends, have fun, and also make sure I treat everyone I meet with kindness and compassion and good vibes✌️It means that in everything I do as I pass through my days, I do it with kindness and compassion, and good intentions.

We need to create a world of lightworkers.
Children, adults, all genders, all colors, all nationalities, all sizes, all religions. 
All humanity. 
I want the entire world to recognize themselves first and foremost as a lightworker. It doesn’t matter how you do it, what your daily grind is, your gender, race, or anything else. It doesn’t matter if you help 1 person or 100000.
It only matters that you CHOOSE to become the light and a part of this movement that can truly change the world. 
Bringing the ‘human’ back to humanity.
Beautiful humans....Will you commit? 
Just write #TeamLightWorker  in the comments section below if you want to join me on this commitment to help make the world a brighter and nicer place for all🌼

“When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren't pessimistic, you don't understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren't optimistic, you haven't got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world.” – Paul Hawkin #Lightworker #BeTheChange #Truth

Team Lightworker

I adopted the name and created my own little concept around the term ‘Lightworker’ because I felt it is a way for people to come together who want to be a part of something beautiful in the world, and want to live in a positive and happy mindset. It’s also perfect for those of us who are currently feeling a little lost, a little defeated, overwhelmed or a little down because it gives you a place to go where you can feel apart of a community. It offers us all a wonderful purpose to help guide us while we are still understanding our life and working out what our true gifts are, and while our purpose unfolds.

For most people it takes time and lots of life experience to finally understand what their own unique, beautiful and magical job is in this world. In the midst of life confusion, challenges, feeling alone, sadness, outcast, or any other of those things we feel throughout our moments in life, committing to being a Lightworker has the ability to literally change your life and ease your hardship. Even for those of us who are living well but just feel like ‘somethings missing’ or we just want to be involved in being a part of something good in the world.

It brings us back to being ‘human’ and a part of something bigger than ourselves.
It encourages us to be a part of the change. When the world is tough and you feel like it’s all a bit much, giving yourself meaning can make all the difference. So much of my life joy is built off this commitment because everyday I wake up with my number one job and calling to be a Lightworker. Everything else just flows from that mindset. I’m a better wife, better friend, better at my job, and an overall better human.

When you ‘join the team’ you create a much more beautiful meaning to your life. Through bringing kindness, compassion, love and positive vibes to the world, it will literally light up your day....and even on the hardest of days it may well help you get through another hour.

Focus on the gentleness, the empathy, the kindness of your nature and use that to show yourself how much you matter, and how much the world needs someone like you. Shower your pets with love. Catch up with friends or loved ones and find out how they are doing. Write notes for your blog, website or social media content that puts light, perspective and beauty into the world or someone else’s life. Treat everyone nicely as you move through your day and show them that kindness still exists in the world. Volunteer. Go to your job or school and bring good vibes with you.

Use this tribe to never feel alone and to always be a part of the most wonderful community. That’s what I wish for. It’s time to bring the best of yourself to the world and share that beauty. You will see ten fold how much your mindset shifts, your days become brighter, your heart become lighter, and your perspective of life become so much more positive and joyful.

Love you guys xxx #TeamLightWorker

“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.” 🌻
Leo F. Buscaglia

Social Media and Mindset

#thoughtsfortheday

Fill your social media and home pages with profiles and people who make you feel good, who challenge you to think deeper, who encourage you to work on yourself, to be the best person you can be, and who allow you to feel more connected to a greater purpose and passion. 

There are so many beautiful people and profiles that draw you in and look good from the outside, but if you pay attention you'll realise they are doing nothing more that keeping you focused purely on how your body looks and how much you apparently are lacking when it comes to material things. 

When coaching my clients I show them my Facebook home page (Instagram is a little harder because the home page chooses what it shows you). Now I don't spend a lot of time 'scrolling' but I have intentionally set up all the important pages I want to 'see first'. For me personally, it's filled with the stuff that matters to the true me like animal welfare pages, human rights, environmental and travel, authors and thought leaders. By doing this I ensure I use social media in the most positive way. Anything animal welfare, environmental or human rights brings me perspective no matter what my mindset is in that particular moment. It is a constant reminder of how lucky I am and keeps me focused on what really matters so I don't fall into the trap of 'drama' and getting caught up in life's BS. Authors and thought leaders keep me thinking, growing, learning and constantly searching for new information that helps me continue to work on being a better person, adding value to the world, and also allows me to help and coach others more effectively. 

Many years ago my feed was filled with every bikini, fitness model, competitor, influencer etc. I came across that had the most perfect feed, looked stunning, had the incredible body and posted 'motivational' quotes, and were mostly all about nutrition, training and body goals. Now of course that was MY CHOICE to bring that into my space, however all it brought to my life was constant thoughts about food, training and working on achieving body goals. In fact the so called motivation and inspiration I was looking for and thinking I was receiving was actually coming from a negative place, not a positive one. I wasn't looking at these images thinking 'my digestion is poor, my mind is not clear, I'm lacking energy...I need to improve my food choices and lifestyle habits to take better care of myself'. It was actually resulting in me focusing even more on my external self and a place of 'I need to start sticking to my food tighter so I can lean up and look better', hidden behind a message of health and fitness. 

If you are constantly thinking about food,  training, body goals, and your life is revolving around these areas in a detrimental way, then I believe the best place to start is to clean up your feed and stop following all the health and fitness inspo, and instead start following profiles that get you thinking more about your life goals, what you want to get out of your life, who you want to be, what makes you feel good inside, and what brings your beautiful light to the world in the most brightest way.

Body Positivity?

Be proud of your body, love your body, accept your body...don't get me wrong these are all great sentiments with mostly goodwill behind them, however I can't seem to get on board with these messages entirely because I think we should be more concerned with WHY the fuck are we so focused and concerned with how our body 'looks' purely on the outside in the first place? 

All this body positive and self-love etc has the right intentions but if we look at the foundations of what is going as opposed to trying to fix the surface level stuff, the whole problem is WHY should we be focusing so much on our bodies at all? Our lives should be about actually living, contribution, experiences, making memories...not wasting (in most cases) our entire lives trying to 'love our body' and 'accept' it. I think that we should instead be working on cutting off mindless social media scrolling, manipulative marketing, 'following' influencers who 'motivate' us from a negative place and not a positive one. We need to instead be encouraging each other to get on with your lives, find things you love and enjoy and are are passionate about, spending time around people who truly love and cherish you, and having more important conversations. 

Today while I was working, I stopped and  consciously thought about whether I was 'proud' of my body or not. I came to the conclusion that I was neither really lol, because frankly it's binary. I literally have my health, the privilege to live an optimal life in a wonderful country, loved ones who care for me, and more important things to do on this planet that spending my day trying to make myself 'love my body'. I mean seriously is all that effort really truly helping the issue? Or is it in fact keeping you stuck in a headspace consumed with thoughts on how your body looks. It is yet again another way that keeps us thinking about and focused on our body and appearance.

I think the better solution for the majority of women is to actually change your perspective completely. Instead of committing your life trying so hard to accept your body, let's instead get so fully engaged in life and aim to commit our thoughts and each day to more important things that bring joy and purpose.

I guess my question is that instead of spending soooo much time engaged in thinking about our body, positive or negative, why are we even thinking about our body's that much at all?

#thoughtsfortheday

Reality and Social Media

Today I was looking through Marcus's iPhone album on the computer. As I clicked through the photos I realized how many photos of me never really 'made the cut'. Not that I go to outrageous efforts taking photos but I still (like everyone) judge my photos harshly against all the perfect photos of people with perfect outfits, perfect hair, perfect make up and perfect angles.

As I went back I started to save each of these images, because although at the time all I saw was an 'average photo', today I saw something more that actually hit me at a deeper level.

In retrospect these photos showed me in a different way. A real way. As a human. As me. I saw the truth in these photos and it actually upset me a little. While we all are chasing the perfect image and engaging online with the 'beautiful pictures' we tend to lose sight on who we really are, and often overlook people who could add so much value to our lives simply because they don't always have a perfect reel of high quality photos. Many of my images I admit, look 'pretty', but on closer inspection in comparison to these images, I just don't think they actually have the true spirit of who I am.

In a non egotistical and narcissitc way, I like me. I like that above everything else I am a kind person who cares. I am a deeply thoughtful person who has a crazy busy mind, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I have great perspective of what matters and am extremely grateful and appreciative for my life. I have integrity, values, and morals that I stand for proudly. I realize that no amount of money, no particular body, no amount of likes, follows or adoration will bring me true satisfaction in life. I know I have made mistakes and done some crazy shit in my life, but I have never intentionally hurt someone or done anything with malice. I have a passion for helping people, no matter how small a difference I can make. I can't help everyone, but I can treat everyone with the empathy and give them my best effort. I'm a human with a story like everyone else and I truly just want everyone to find happiness and live a beautiful fulfilling life, while being kind to others and allowing them to do the same.

It clicked to me today that I am actually really fucking hard on myself and instead of worrying about 'engagement' (not the 'like' kind, but I just really want to get my message heard amongst all the BS dominating social media in order to help people who are really struggling ) and getting the right photos, I need to just keep putting epic CONTENT out there and the people who need to hear my voice will see it no matter what the image is that goes with it.

Each of these photos actually have a memory of a moment for me, not just simply taken to meet social media standards.

#thoughtsfortheday

Rose Namajunis - New UFC Strawweight Champion

This girl just became the UFC women's straw weight champion of the world. I'm a huge follower of the sport because it is about so much more than just watching people beating each other up (which I will save for another post lol).

After the fight card ends I generally scroll the athletes pages and watch the post conference interviews as I love to see how they manage themselves publicly after their wins and loses. I jumped on to Rose Namajunas Facebook page in which her profile picture shows her with long hair. These days she has a shaved head so it was interesting to see many peoples responses to the way she looks. I briefly came across a number of comments along the lines of 'I wish you would grow your hair back', 'wow she was pretty when she had long hair' etc. alongside many opinionated comments over multiple online channels about how she now looks without hair.

I even thought for a second, wow, if she did have long hair she would be literally a UFC marketers dream as they could really drive her promotion as this stunningly, beautiful badass athlete who is now the champion. But the unfortunate part is that with a shaved head for many people she won't meet the 'ideal' of what a woman apparently 'should' look like by society, which is sadly what is wrong with the way women are viewed in this world. With the online environment being as prominent as an influence in the world today, a woman's looks and physicality are becoming even more of focal point in regards to her 'value' because it is driven mostly by 'perfect' images. 

I don't know a lot about this girl but what I do know is that she has a great message for all women. She obviously does not give one fuck about being trying to be 'pretty' based on other peoples standards, because she is more focused and committed to actually being her best, working her ass off, chasing her goals and living her dream, in her own way. She likely doesn't have time to mess around with hair every single day (nor could be bothered), because her focus is onliving her life and complete dedication to becoming the best in the world at her craft. 

I see way too many women (especially younger women) these days investing all their time and energy trying to simply look good and meet society's ideal. This is at the expense of the true gifts, talents and purpose they are here to share with the world. They suppress their minds and intelligence by blindly following along what they think they need to be to find success and happiness, to wonder why they are so miserable, anxious and lost in life.

If you are obsessing about your body, your looks, and comparing yourselves to others, I can promise you that you really are missing out on your life, and at some point you will look back in regret and realise that. I can't stress enough the importance of taking time out away from the online world and other influences and having some quiet time to reconnect with yourself and find some clarity about what it is you really want in your life, what actually brings you joy, and what truly matters. 

We as a society need to be a part of the change and instead of glorifying people for simply 'looking good', start celebrating and acknowledging women who do something more, have purpose, contribute to the world in a greater way, and have a message and vision for the world.

Being pretty is not an achievement. 

Being pretty is not an accomplishment.

Strive to be more than just a pretty face or a beautiful body!

Social Media Sanity - How to protect yourself from scrolling!

A few tips on how to do social media better my babes🔀

🐝Get off the home pages and stop scrolling! You don't need to see what everyone else is doing constantly. By all means follow family and close friends, and those that matter, but stop wasting time reading all the crap you really don't need to see. Instead get out and get involved and engaged in your own life.

🐝When it comes to influencers or people on social media who in some way I inspire you, make sure they ACTUALLY inspire you some way to be a better person and add value to your life. Pick a handful who make you feel better about yourself or challenge your life and thoughts in a positive way, and only follow their posts or check in on their pages. There are too many of you following 'inspos' that if you paid attention and were honest with yourself, you would have to realize that most of them are in fact making you feel worse about yourself. This is especially true in the fitness world. You flood your feeds with all these perfect photos of beautiful women with amazing bodies and tell yourself they are (insta) famous so they are motivation for you, but they really aren't! They make you even more critical of your body, only ever reference food and training, body goals etc and make you actually more consumed with how you should look in a bikini. Stop following just because everyone else does, and start disconnecting from any accounts that are not really adding value to your life.

🐝Allow a window of time for social media. Set out a time to check in, then put your phone away. If you have kids or a partner then start to spend more time with them than scrolling social media. Imagine what your relationships could be like if you invested as much time into mindless scrolling and instead spending time with the people who actually matter in your life.

🐝Those of you who follow people you don't like or to 'watch the train wreck'...I mean seriously what a complete waste of your life! Be better than that. What kind of opportunities are you missing out on in your life while you invest your time into people you don't even like, respect, or bring anything of value into your life. Stop 'checking in' to see what they are doing. It's none of your business, and you shouldn't care. Because regardless of how their life is, they are in some part still living it while you follow theirs....instead of living your own. Again, what a waste of your awesomeness.

Don't get me wrong, there are positives to social media, just people in general don't know how to manage it. People need to have boundaries around their online environment and what they let into their world. From my experiences and exposure to so many women I see too much unhappiness and unfulfilled lives which are very much to do with social media. So while it's perfectly ok to engage with the online word, ensure you are using it in a way that it's designed to add to your life, not make it miserable. Just like everything, it's about balance⚖

PS - yes my eyes are brown😉 
This photo was edited on an app to change my eye colour for fun✌🏼️

Comparison and Self-Worth

So many unhappy women out there. Sadly mostly to do with comparison, their body and how they look in a bikini😔

Firstly I am going to give you a few tips on where change begins and how implementing these 4 habits into your daily routine will significantly improve your life.

1. Training- don't underestimate the power of moving your body. Screw how training makes you look, and instead focus on how it makes you FEEL!!! People get unmotivated a lot of the time and only get inspired to exercise when they decide to get 'fit', in shape, or lose weight. Don't use training purely to chase a body goal, as often it takes a lot of time to actual see change or completely reshape your body. If you instead place the importance of how you feel, you will get a result every single session. Training improves your mood, your energy, your self-confidence and your overall well-being. And no fancy clothes, hours a day, or even a gym required. There are plenty of free workouts online, or email me and I'll share you my free 15 minutes for 15 days training challenge💪🏼

2. Start eating a more balanced diet of the food you enjoy. Screw what anyone else does, find what works for you and enjoy. Start with a basic foundation and slowly adjust the areas you need to as you go to create a nutrition approach you like🍉🍌🍏🍒🌽🍅🍆🍞🍳

3. Meditation- Spend time every day taking some time out and doing a meditation. Again, there are loads of free ones online. They can be 2 minutes to over an hour, and can be about anything. Just google 'free meditation' and a topic (eg overwhelm, unhappy, uplifting, stressed, overeating etc)🙇

4. Read a book- Such a forgotten treasure in the world of the Internet and social media. Set aside 15 minutes every day for reading. I mean do it on the toilet if you have to lol. Self development titles are a great place to start. If you can't afford to buy a new book then you can sign up at a library.📚

People are spending too much time focused on what other people are doing and what 'success' is for somebody else. You can have all the money and fame in the world and be unhappy. I mean look at so many celebrities out there, addicted to drugs and alcohol, suicide etc. There are also plenty of people with great bodies and who 'look perfect' but have f-cked up lives.

Stop chasing other people's dreams because you are so consumed with social media and what you see online and following along with what society makes out to be 'success'. To me finding success is not a one fit answer. You can live a freaking incredible life by putting down your phone and connecting with the people around you that you love. You can be so freaking happy by finding a job that pays enough money but you are so passionate about or know that you are making a difference to the world. And don't underestimate any job! Every person is of value in the world, and even the jobs you may think of as less still make a huge contribution to the planet and people.

Sadly there are so many miserable people in the world because they have forgotten to listen to their own heart and go with what they truly want, as they are so clouded by what others want and promote as the benchmark for what being happy and successful is. If you truly have a calling to make billions of dollars or be famous, even instafamous lol, or have that perfect body, then by all means go for it and totally slay! But the whole world wasn't born to do that yet that is what majority of the world is striving for solely because that's what they think will bring them happiness. It's total BS!

There are soooo many talented, amazing, intelligent women out there wasting their gifts and not living a fulfilling life because they are sitting around following someone else posting pretty pictures on social media and getting some attention that really shouldn't mean jack shit to you. If you feel like you need more value then you need to spend more time with people who actually matter in your life, not looking for it in randoms online. Start challenging yourself ladies. Get off social media for 2 weeks and read. Go for walks and start reconnecting to your soul and think about what you would truly love to do in the world and get some clarity back.

A happy life is there waiting for anyone who decides that it's more important than doing things for other people's recognition and acknowledgement😘

#FatShaming Lady Gaga?

This is exactly what is wrong with the world when it comes to women. EVERYTHING you are and you do in life somehow always comes back to your body!

After an incredible performance at the Superbowl, where people were in awe of her talent, the talk quickly shifts to her stomach and a skin/fat roll🙄

Number 1 - She is not a supermodel or someone who's job is to look like a perfect maniquin. This woman is an ARTIST and is famous and successful because of TALENT, DEDICATION and HARD WORK (in addition to a strong personal message), not because she simply looks cute in a bikini.

Number 2 - As a fitness and lifestyle coach what hope does that leave for us? We are more likely to be expected to have our body be in a specific shape, so her tiny stomach roll pretty much makes me and the other 99% of health and fitness professionals, and sports athletes...'out of shape' or 'fat'. I mean seriously what kind of message does this send regular woman.

Number 3 - Everyone has a 'fold' or 'skin', or some jiggle when you jump around, bend over or move. I mean come oooon...unless your body is solid rock there is no way your skin or body doesn't move in some way when you are moving. Unless you stand completely still there is no way to hold the perfect body and angles unless you are one of the 0.0000001% and genetically gifted (even then it's pretty much impossible).

Number 4- Again, seriously. WTF? A women's worth and value shouldn't have jack shit to do with how she looks in a bikini. I mean the performance was incredible, the world went nuts about it, it came with a strong empowering message, and yet STILL the final conversation comes down to her 'stomach'. This world is going next level mad!😏

Number 5 - This is exactly what is wrong with society when it comes to health and happiness. Knowledge, strength, compassion, kindness, general health and wellness,and the ability to do a fucking good job has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with how a persons body looks.

Oh and one last thing - I cannot believe people even noticed it?!?!

Maybe it's time people started looking more at a women's achievements, qualifications, written content, and contribution to the world instead of focusing on how perfect she looks in a picture or piece of clothing and calling that inspiring?

Realize that everytime we reference a successful woman's body type, weight, or shape, there is a young girl out there watching who is intelligent and a total world changer, that will now hold back her gifts and start doubting herself and actual worth as she starts to learn her body is apparently way more important than her mind.

#foodforthought #bethechange #superbowl

Raw and Real

Just so you all know, I fucking struggle with the same things you do almost every other day! I get so many messages from girlfriends, clients, social media contacts, saying how strong I am, resilient, and wise etc.

But I think it's right for you to all know a few things about me you don't see through social media. Don't get me wrong my life is great, I am happy, I am healthy, but life is a journey. I have to experience all the highs/lows, good/bad, and total BS that you also do, because we are all on a path that expects us to grow throughout our lives.

1. I still invest my time and energy into so many people that don't even give a fuck! I'm a helper, that's what I do! I try to save people from themselves and help them in whatever way I can, health, mind, finances, literally everything. And you know what? Most of them are unappreciative and never even say thank you😏 Of course I get disappointed initially, even angry, but you know what, everyone is fighting their own battles so who am I to harbor resentment. My job in life is to simply be a kind, compassionate and helpful human, regardless of how another person conducts themselves. You just have to forgive, learn from it and move on with your life.

2. People who should support me don't, and others, even friends try to sabotage me! 🤔Yeah that shit has happened to me for many years. It's a really shitter but you know what, you can't change other people's behaviours. At the end of the day you just have to understand that hurt people, hurt people. When people try to damage others, lie, and create dramas, it's sadly because they are extremely unhappy in themselves and their life. You just got to 'get on with it' and do you! The truth is always out there, and no matter what, you will still succeed if you work hard and do what you do with passion and integrity.

3. Injuries and issues that interfere with your health and fitness goals! Gosh this is totally my daily pain in the ass (although not literally haha🙈). My left shoulder girdle was injured 10 years ago in a car accident and this year has been an absolute bummer when it comes to my fitness goals. My neck and back have severely locked up so many times this year to the point I haven't been able to move for days. It's constantly nagging on me and all I want to do is be back training again. So yeah that frustrates me to no end almost daily. All I can do for now is get treatment, rest it, and do what I can, which is some basic cardio like bike and stepmill. At least I can move right!

4. I get disappointed in myself constantly because I feel like I don't do enough in the world, I'm not making enough impact, and constantly questioning my 'true purpose' on this planet. My mind is like a spinning wheel and it literally never stops. I even said to Marcus once that one day I'm going to keep a notepad and write EVERY thought that goes through my head each day! I think people would be in shock if they saw how busy my mind was. I'm not here to be 'average' so I carry a burden every day that is heavy as fuck, to be a better human and change the world and peoples lives in whatever way I can.

So you can see 'I get it'. I'm not immune to the crap life throws at you. No one is immune beautiful people. Everyone has struggles with life, their health, relationships, money, families, careers, studies, the environment and the world which we live it. It's all same but different, if that makes sense.

So how do you push forward?

The first way to manage life's bummers is to practice gratitude. Write a list or chat it out with your partner about everything you have to be grateful for in your life.

Secondly know your value. Your value doesn't change based on what other people think or say, or the mistakes you make along the way (unless your intentions are bad and you hurt others).

Next read, read, read! Get back to reading books! Any books, but most importantly self development. You need to build yourself from the inside, and books allow you to get a clearer perspective on certain things and life in general. They open your mind to other people's experiences so you can learn through them and understand different views of the world. They reinforce that everyone has struggles and that you are not alone, and empower you to be a better you.

Lastly know that nothing lasts forever. As soon as it feels like everything is going great, it again turns to shit, then before you know it you are out the other side looking back wondering how the fuck your got through it. Just do your best with what you can everyday and know that your best will change along the way. Life will continue to come with seasons so you just have to learn to peace out and ride the waves.

Being 'strong' is about a choice! Its not about a particular feeling or place you are at, it's about deciding to pick up everyday and keep going, while making the most of what is thrown at you along the way. I am an 'Empath' so trust me that my path is extremely challenging, but I know I myself that I MATTER and am worth it! If you are unsure of what that means click below and you will understand who I am a little better.

http://mysticalraven.com/…/15-things-youll-notice-when-your…

Live your life in the way that makes you happy, and be ok with the fact that often things fall apart, so better things can fall together.

I'm seriously cheering you all!

"She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulder and made it look like a pair of wings"

What the fuck are we doing?

As I sit here broken hearted and with tears literally rushing down my face, I can't help but ask over and over again "What the fuck are we doing?"

I feel really alone. Maybe it's just that I have not connected myself with the right people, or am spending my time around the wrong environments. All I know is that I feel a huge responsibility, but also completely helpless. There is so much hurt, pain and devastation in the world and it can be solved, I truly believe that, so why does it feel like the majority of humans just don't give a fuck!

I know I am going through another stage of massive growth where I am feeling a greater responsibility as a human, and as enlightening as it is, it is tough. I am finding it increasingly more difficult to focus and work on my businesses because I am drawn to read more, research, watch documentaries and educate myself further on more important issues. I have such a strong belief in women but I feel that our genius and gifts are being wasted. It seems like no one can see the bigger picture. The idea that in life we all have a greater purpose on this planet and we need to reach our potential and not settle for meaningless shit that we have been brainwashed as a society to believe is important.

The environment is being destroyed, people are starving and in pain, animals are being hurt and mistreated, yet all we seem to care about is money, status and our own selfish wants. I don't blame people in general or harbour resentment. What I believe in my heart is that people don't know what they don't know. If people could be shown what is truly happening in our world in a compassionate and understanding way, then I trust people would become more aware and pro-active in the decisions they make each day.

I don't wish for fame or a following for BS ego reasons, but in some way I am questioning myself everyday on how to build my online presence so that I can influence the younger generation of women. I have so many thoughts running through my head in how to deliver a positive and inspiring message, but literally don't know where to start. All I know is that I care. And I care fucking deeply. I want to reach women especially, and inspire them to be epic humans that do great things on this planet and lead future generations to the importance of being a exceptional human. Do I go back to teaching in schools? Do I start to follow the social media trend of sexy photos and showing my body to get that attention? Do I try to get into politics? Do I try to get back into modelling, or maybe presenting? 

The planet is hurting. Humans are hurting. We can do better. There is no need for suffering and pain in the planet or any living thing. I don't have the answers but I do know that there is something inside me that was built for greater things and I will work so hard to answer that calling. For now though, I guess writing about it is the best way to start. If my words can open one set of eyes, connect with someone, or move a person in some way, then it all starts there. 

I don't know if this post makes sense, nor if any future ones will for some time. Right now it is just important to me to do 'something'.

Peace and Love xx