3 thoughts I try to keep in my mind when things are messy, uncertain or heartbreaking

3 thoughts I try to keep in my mind when things are messy, uncertain or heartbreaking -

1. Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.

2. There is always strangely some strength, character, wisdom, and perspective to be gained through every experience no matter how challenging.

3. It all works out ok in the end.

I actually shared this in a story the other but after some of the conversations I have had with people in messages this week I felt it deserved a permanent spot on my profile.

Cheating, drugs, relationship breakdowns, loneliness, health problems, financial stress, and general life struggles...at some point in life it happens to us, or has happened to us all

I appreciate that when you are deep in it, it’s tough. It can be really hard to see past the emotional turmoil, whether that be worry, hurt, overwhelm, desperation, feeling deserted, trapped or a rollercoaster combination of it all.

Obviously when you are in that place it’s going to take a bit of time to work through what has happened, so acknowledgement and acceptance of that is a good first step.

It is absolutely more than completely fine to be in a really low place...but it’s also so important you don’t spend too much time isolated in there.

A good place to start is spending some time on re-building your mindset and improving yourself. This can be as simple as reading books, listening to podcasts, watching inspiring/educational/thought provoking videos, or joining an online community or group, literally anything that helps you with perspective and get your vibes up, even if it’s just for 20 minutes for now.

Another great step is to just take some time out to sit with yourself and evaluate your life, where it is currently at, and where you would like it to be. If you don’t see a vision for your life, and you don’t know where you are going, it’s really hard to make aligned actions to get there. Focus in on how you can move forward by starting to think about all your hopes and dreams.

Sit quietly and think about exactly what it is you want for your future and start writing (or even just visualizing) a list of what you want for your life.

Write down what your dream life would be, what would the perfect day in your life look like? Down to each hour?

What is your dream career? What gives you purpose or drives you?

Where do you want to live?

What type of people do you want in your life?

What do you want for your health?

What kind of money do you want to earn every week?

Then start taking a single step towards those things that light you up most!

I can promise you that there is soooo much more good coming your way and you’ll look back on it all as just a much needed part of your journey, for whatever reason, regardless of how much it doesn’t make sense right now.

Love you all and sending you epic strength and healing vibes

Always here. Always got your backs xxx

So what if we fail.

The world- “You have less than a 1% chance of success”

Me- “BRING IT”

I mean seriously, even if all these supposed statistics were completely on point why are people really so scared of chasing big goals?

Why are people so scared to risk a little, to potentially have it all.

So what if we fail.

Privately, or god forbid, in the public arena

We know all great things require big growth, finely tuned skill set, patience, work ethic, commitment, educated risk, consistency, resilience etc.

But it seems the biggest challenge of all, is finding the courage to even try.

Hear this though, all the athletes in the world have little chance of making it to the top of their sport, all the musicians in the world have little chance of reaching the top of the music world, all the actors around the world have little chance of hitting the big time as an actor, all the models in the world have little chance of becoming a successful model, all the business people around the world have little chance to become a top CEO, and all the want to be firefighters have little chance of becoming a firefighter.

But people do it.

People take a chance, give it a shot, and win.

And you know what, let’s be completely honest

in the fact that most people don’t make it.

But guess what, that’s actually a beautiful part of truly living life.

If you fail or realise something is not meant for you, I can promise you that at some point in the future your experience will end up paying you off in dividends. You’ll see the importance of the lessons you learned from that experience, the purpose of that path, and the perspective of taking that chance.

You’ll also come to know yourself better.

I often wonder, why do we as a society condition ourselves to be so fearful of challenge and chasing something that requires the absolute highest level of ourselves to possibly achieve?

Imagine if everyone chased their biggest goals in whatever arena they were most passionate about. I mean can you imagine as humanity how much more epic and farther along (for the better) we would be? Like imagine if we all strived for the top of the mountain. There is absolutely no doubt that the majority of us would fail to achieve the epitome of greatness in whatever we measure that by, but there is also no doubt that we would all be happier, healthier, have a greater perspective, more peace, and actually enjoy living a fun and exciting life.

Make a commitment to yourself to never let other people’s fear ever stop you from going after anything you desire.

Fail, fuck it up, stumble, and enjoy the ride no matter what the outcome!

Because at the end of the day we are all going to die. And let’s be completely realistic in that the majority of us will be very quickly forgotten, aside from our close family and friends.

I read a powerful statement once that said-

“MEDIOCRITY, AS A GOAL SUCKS.

BUT MEDIOCRITY AS A RESULT, IS OK.”

(BOOM Sooooo good right!!).

I implore you to sit with yourself today, and if there is anything, anything, at all you want to do so deeply in your soul, now is the time to do it.

I personally have your back.

If people laugh at you, I’ll cheer for you.

If people doubt you, I’ll believe in you.

If you fail, I’ll help you find perspective.

So here’s a big cheers to me and my less than 1% chance of success

The bigger the task,

the bigger the lessons,

the bigger the obstacles,

the bigger the growth,

the bigger the character,

the bigger the life.

Excited to have you in my world and a part of my journey! Love you guys!! Xxx

With love

I was reflecting today on how I respond to so many of you online. I often write ‘love you’ or ‘miss you’ to many messages and comments even though I barely know them, have never met them, or they are someone from my past that I haven’t see in a long time.

I was thinking in this often disconnected world...do people wonder if I actually mean it, or is it just random ‘nice’ empty words that people say on the internet because it makes them ‘look good’.

It might surprise you that I deeply mean it. In fact that’s what got me thinking about it initially, because as I was writing it yesterday I noticed how much ‘love’ and feel good vibes flowed through my hands as I wrote it. I believe we sometimes as a collective that there are so many beautiful variations of what the word love actually means. And when I say I miss someone, it doesn’t always mean that we may ever see each other again, but I want them to know and feel that their presence in the world is felt, that I value them, and they are ‘missed’. Again, missed is feeling that can take on many meanings

You see even amongst the backdrop of sometimes melancholic world, I genuinely just have love for all humans that I connect with in any form. I feel so much joy and smile in my heart, often get butterflies, or get that strange kind wave of what feels like adrenaline when I write to people, speak to people, or think consciously about them as a living breathing human

They are someone’s father, mother, child, brother, sister, carer, grandma, grandpa, etc, and I have a deep appreciation for how much they are loved and bring joy to someone’s life. I also think about the people I love the most and how I hope everyone is super nice to them in their day, because to me they are so special and they deserve to be treated with that same love and kindness.

I truly want you all to win.

To find joy, peace, fun, and success in your lives in whatever form that looks like to each of you.

I hope you all had a wonderful Monday, no matter what that actually looked like.

Maybe it wasn’t the best ‘feeling’ day or exactly what you want for your life, but I can promise you it was a purposeful day...somewhere in someone’s life you added value, or maybe you are simply adding value to your own. And value comes in many forms, the struggles, the fear, the heartbreak, the joy, the small wins, even stagnancy.

Love you guys!

Did you post your age???

‘Did you post how old you are?’

That was a question a woman asked me when she saw my Facebook post on my birthday.

I responded ‘yes, of course, why not?’.

She proceeded to tell me how she would NEVER tell anyone her age, and makes effort to hide her actual age due to discrimination

Age discrimination is real. I tend to live a little outside the realms of ‘society’ and am lucky not to completely rely on careers within the ‘system’. Unfortunately, many people who work in jobs they truly love have to endure things like prejudices against their age. It’s really fucked up and I do ‘get it’ some ways.

I get the nice comments-

Wow you don’t look that old.

Wow you look like early 30’s.

Wow you look so good for you age.

While these comments are from a place of kindness I assure you that my body is ageing just like every single other human, and that's ok. Genetics and lifestyles of course do impact the rate individually, but still why do we place so much value on a persons age?

I have more lines in my face.

I have seen some grey hairs (lol rarely because I’m forever changing/colouring my hair but I assure you they are there)

My skin elasticity has definitely changed, especially this past couple of years.

I noticed some skin gathering on top of my knees.

I can see the thinning of the skin on my arms and the small skinfolds in certain positions.

I can see my hands getting the little scales.

But I also see-

I have sooo many beautiful memories and favourite days that I can look back on that make me smile.

I have so many experiences that allow me to enjoy such a great perspective and so much peace in my life.

I have so many accomplishments that prove I have achieved success in my life.

I have had such a range of high and lows that allow me a powerful and reflective mindset to overcome anything that is thrown my way, and these contrasts allow me the ability to truly appreciate the beauty of life.

I am blessed to have spent so many years with loved ones, with hopefully so many more to come.

I can honestly say I have never allowed the age rhetoric to influence my life and I refuse to ever hide my age or be ashamed of the privilege of getting older. I will NEVER support that view of life and engage in it. I believe when we hide or mislead in our age we are fueling our own shame, lying to ourselves, bowing down to idealism (discrimination), and in affect contributing to the problem.

I completely get it, you may lose opportunities. Trust me when I say I have lost out on soooo many opportunities in the health and fitness industry by speaking up and standing in truth and integrity to those people in positions of power. I sacrificed a lot of opportunities by realising that bowing down and following along when I knew there were indiscretions being committed that I would miss out. But I decided nothing was worth me not being truthful to myself. I instead went on to personally create my own opportunities and over time those people have all had to ultimately face their immoral behaviours and everything turned out pretty well for me.

As a community if we as women want change, we must start with ourselves. We must be willing to be proud of who we are and challenge the value placed on us by how we look or how many years we have been on this earth. If you are in a position of influence in any way you must choose to be a part of the change. Where there is option (and of course merit) you should to choose to employ, purchase from, work with, or provide an opportunity for woman over 40 (and men) if they are deserving REGARDLESS of if it costs you slightly more.

People of ALL ages have incredibly unique values, no matter what generation. Every generation has a completely new perspective of the world and is able to see things through an entirely new lens, as we continue to be raised through so many rapid world changes.

Workplace Drama

I haven’t had a job in a typical workplace for many years.

It’s always confused as to why the is so much drama amongst work colleagues and associates.

I remember a few years ago I hired a beautiful young girl to work for me. I said to her from day one that as long as the work got done I want us to have a good time and enjoy ourselves.

It’s just always made sense to me and I often wonder why it isn’t more common place.

For the majority of us we spend many hours, years, if not most of our lives in a job, so I have never understood as to why we wouldn’t want to make it anything else than enjoyable?

Let’s be real. It’s a part of life, whether it’s for a short or long time, for a passion, or simply to make ends meet. We are all more similar than different as humans. At the core level we want to be healthy, happy, and ensure our loved ones are the same, while making the best of our lives.

Yet then we still make each other miserable. I don’t believe it to be intentional. Number one, hurt people hurt people. But if we are to spend most of our weeks in a workplace community why would we not want to make it nice for everyone. I mean the work gets done, the hours get logged, regardless, so doesn’t it make more sense to make the choice as a community to at least have a good time?

I mean the outcome is the same.
Job gets done. Everyone is miserable.
Job gets done. Everyone is happy.

Ambivalence

Ambivalence.

Why do we have to be one, or another?

Why can’t we be a realist and still be a visionary?

Why can’t we love money yet still live a simple life?

Why can’t we believe in both holistic living and modern medicine?

Why can’t we believe in science and the real world?

Why can’t we have a typical ‘job’ but also have a side income?

Why can’t we be positive and happy but also have days of sadness and general low feelings?

Why can’t we love people but love to be alone?

Why can’t we be a dreamer and still live in the physical world?

Why can’t we believe in science as well as our own intuition?

We really don’t have to choose between options and situations in most of daily lives like the world seems to imply. Duality can be beautiful.
Don’t believe in ego based fear or be pulled into promoting ideologies that demand 'you are either with me or against me'. This may seem like a form of strength and building a community of 'like-minded' people, but realise it is just another form of hate and division.

Like the little girl says in the taco add when the family were arguing over soft or hard taco shells.
Why can’t we do both?

Feeling Alone? Misunderstood?

Do you often feel alone and misunderstood by other people?

Believe me, you are not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who are misunderstood and even underestimated by others because of certain personality traits. Paradoxically, these individuals are usually much more talented, intelligent and deep than those who reject them. Still, being uninterested in popular things along with being too reserved and introspective may make you appear a sort of freak to the mediocre minds.

It’s all because human beings tend to be cautious and judgemental towards those who live, think and behave differently. So if you don’t share the interests and beliefs of the majority, you will probably face misunderstanding and rejection at some point in your life.

Some may judge you for being too quiet, unfriendly or aloof; others may believe that you are a weirdo because you are passionate about things they cannot understand. It’s not uncommon when even your close ones, such as your parents or your partner, seem to misinterpret your lifestyle and underestimate your passions. No need to say that this can be much more painful than the lack of understanding from people you are not so close to.

So what can you do when you feel alone and misunderstood?

1. Accept the fact that deep people rarely have the privilege to be truly understood by others.

Sometimes, the best way to stop worrying about being misunderstood is to accept it as a reality you cannot change. You need to realize that other people have a different perspective on what’s right or wrong, good or bad, interesting or boring. Unfortunately, most of us don’t even try to actually understand someone – we are too quick to judge because it’s much easier.

So instead of holding grudges and being mad at the world, accept it as a fact and move on. Remember the quote by James Blanchard Cisneros: ‘Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep.’

2. Seek to connect with the right people instead of trying to become more likable to the wrong ones.

It’s pointless to try to connect with people who cannot recognize the depth of your mind and personality in the first place. You will inevitably face misunderstanding and, as a result, will feel alone and disappointed.

The truth is that only a deep individual can appreciate and understand another deep individual. So seek to make connections with people you resonate with and who have a similar level of consciousness.

A good start would be to find individuals who share the same interests with you. Let’s say you are passionate about literature – so why not join a local poetry club. It may be a difficult task if you are socially awkward, but the presence of interesting people who have a common ground with you will eventually make it easier to start a conversation with some of them. You will see how many deep people you will meet and, who knows, some of them may make really great friends.

3. Follow your passion no matter what others think.

The only thing that truly matters is to find your purpose in life and build your lifestyle around it. While your passions and interests may be unpopular, they will eventually help you find your place in life and will fill your existence with meaning. So don’t worry if your dreams and priorities don’t seem “cool” to other people and stop seeking their approval.

I know that it’s much easier said than done, but as soon as you find yourself and your path in life, you will realize that people’s opinion is the last thing that should bother you. Basically, it’s the need to be likable and socially acceptable that makes many of us unhappy (and especially those who are different from the rest).

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel alone and detached from the world and people from time to time. Individuals with a deep personality are particularly prone to these feelings because modern society is driven by ignorance and superficiality. So it makes perfect sense why they may feel like misfits no one really understands and appreciates. However, it’s not like this and be sure that the right people will see your personality in all its beauty and will appreciate you for what you are.

Anna LeMind (writer for ‘The Learning Mind’. I really enjoy reading her articles/blogs)

https://www.learning-mind.com/feel-alone-and-misunderstood/comment-page-1/?platform=hootsuite

Why Must We Justify Our Imperfections?

Why do we have to justify our ‘imperfections’?

We see these posts all the time now from influencers and fitness accounts.

The posting of inspirational photos showing our ‘bad side’, which let’s be honest most photos show such minimal imperfections. Someone posts a photo and points out how they have stomach rolls in certain positions, cellulite in certain lighting, bad skin, etc and write a caption to purportedly make others feel better.

I started to wonder why we are not comfortable in just posting the perceived ‘flaws’ with absolutely NO justification or explanation of these imperfections.

Isn’t that the real truth, actual confidence and the most candid way in helping others?

Posting a photo that shows a part of our body that society deems as something we should ‘fix’ and not actually saying anything.

Wouldn’t that be more inspirational and progressive?

It’s like we say and write all the ‘right’ things but we still have to hide behind the cover of ‘I’m here to prove to you I’m not perfect and look at how genuine I am by sharing my ‘bad side’ with you’, BUT ‘I just need to make sure you know it is my bad side’. Instead of just posting the photo and letting it be. Not drawing attention to it looking for comments about how real you are. Not feeling you need to explain your flaws and making sure people understand it’s not your best picture. Just posting the not perfect photo and carrying on without worrying about what others will think or assume.

Isn’t that real truth?

Look I’m not saying people who post this type of content have ulterior motives but I do have to be honest that every time I see them now the majority of the time I just feel they are fabricated. Just posting the photos, without any mention of society’s perceived flaws under a pretence of ‘being real’ seems more sincere to me. Could it be considered that when we still feel the need to give acknowledgement to society that these are 'actual flaws' we are not really dispelling these long held toxic beliefs?

If we are really sharing it for change and social impact as opposed to our desire to capture ‘likes’ and be seen in a ‘good light’, is it not best to just post it with no justification about the ‘imperfect’ picture?

Is it really fake?

People get so opinionated on what people sell, promote, or recommend online.
‘Stupid fake influencers’
‘Stupid person just trying to make money’

The thing is though, during some point of our lives we ALL have sold something, or been involved in sales of some kind.
“But they don’t even use it, or like it” I hear people say.
So fucking what!

When you go into a clothing store do you think the sales person loves absolutely everything?
Of course not!
They are there to sell and service you for what YOU may want or what YOU are looking for.
Is that fake?
Should they lose their job?
Should they be criticized or denigrated in how they go about making their money?

What about when you go into a restaurant.
Do you think the service people eat or love every single thing on the menu?
Of course not!
They are there to sell and service you for what you may want or what you are looking for.
Is that fake?
Should they lose their job?
Should they be criticized or denigrated in how they go about making their money?

People sell to make money.
It’s a job.
Consider this; when you go to your job or work place (even if you don’t ‘technically’ sell, you still SELL your service), do you agree with absolutely everything that goes on?
Treatment of staff, hours, wages, procedures, lists of duties, how you are treated ?
Of course not!

You are there to sell your service for what is expected within your job description, even when it’s not all in 100% alignment for you.
Is that fake?
Should you lose their job? Should you be criticized or denigrated in how you go about making your money?

‘Working’ and being engaged in life is better than people sitting on their asses gaining benefits from our tax paying money.

We have to appreciate that not everyone has the dream or is cut out, to be doctor, accountant, teacher, manager, emergency services, electrician etc. and that’s ok!
Some people have a different vision for their life and work, and that’s ok.
We aren’t all supposed to like the same things or want the same lives.
If we did then society would collapse.
Every single human is needed to do their thing, in their own way, in the right time.

The world has changed. And is changing. The online world has opened up so many incredible opportunities for the new generations, so who are we to belittle and judge people who take advantage of the new way? Maybe ask the question why it bothers you so much?

It’s time we all stepped up a little individually as a society and started taking a bit more responsibility for our lives in all areas if we are not fulfilled, in place of sitting around wasting our time on what other people choose to do with their lives. This movement towards spewing hate, complaining and blaming everyone and everything else, is ultimately going to do you personally more harm than good.

No one on social media is being forced to follow.
No one on social media is being forced to buy.
No one on social media is being forced to believe.
In fact no one is being forced to do anything.
It’s time to start changing our focus from trying to take down others, to instead teaching children and teenagers (and adults) how to follow their own path, and make their own decisions, while allowing the world to show us different ideas, perspectives, and paths.

If we don’t start to realise the world is full of choices, and accept that they may not align with what is true for you, we will eventually end up with a world full of really oversensitive and irrational people.
People who can’t think for themselves independently, can’t stand up for themselves, can’t self-reflect and learn, can’t experience challenges to lead to growth, or can’t start choosing our own life by seeing all different types of people and different ways to be happy.

There is so much nastiness, judgement and opinions towards online influencers, yet I don’t see anyone in and around shopping centre stores or restaurants abusing people about selling products that they don’t personally use or believe in

I mean honestly, what is the difference between standing in a store, restaurant or shopping centre selling a product or service, or selling it online?

Social Media & Influencers

Lately I’ve kind of changed my perspective a little about social media and influencers.

Maybe it was because I was a bit ‘righteous’ and thinking because I was so full of integrity and morals that I seemed to in my own mind become very ‘judgy’ about the whole social media thing. Yes only in my own head or in private conversations with friends lol...not slamming negativity all over the place online, spewing my opinions, and publicly criticizing people

I was thinking about how much talk there is currently surrounding ‘likes’ being removed off peoples photos and posts, how people ‘blame’ social influencers about everything they have chosen to do with their lives and the impact it’s had on them in different areas of their life. It got me thinking.

I started to think about my own life and experiences and thought it was strange that although I struggled with many issues over my life I literally wouldn’t or couldn’t place any blame on someone else ‘influencing me’. I questioned why I was moving away from this train of thought that was becoming so popular and coming back to the realization that it wasn’t anyone else that was the problem, but the general lack of critical thinking skills and ‘poor me’ mentality that seems to becoming rampant in society. We are becoming a bit ‘soft’ in society when it comes to personal responsibility.

Truth.
In real life not everyone wins.
In real life not everyone gets the amazing genetic body to sculpt into perfection.
In real life not everyone gets to be the best at what they love to do.
In real life not everyone gets to make the big dollars.
In real life not everyone gets to the top of the company.

But you can’t love Olympic sports or support your favorite football team but then say everyone gets a trophy and there should be no score.
You can’t want to improve your health, fitness or body composition but then say that because someone else looks good they are shouldn’t show it off.
You can’t expect a pay rise throughout your own working career if you don’t believe others deserve what they earn.
You can’t expect to live your own life doing what you love if you don’t support others doing the same.

I personally don’t have a huge ‘following’ or get a tonne of ‘likes’ on social media, so why didn’t I care about the Instagram change and cheer like so many for the removal of likes? In all honesty I don’t care. I completely understand the whole self esteem, comparison, body image, self image, self worth etc argument. I see the research and science. But the question is...
Is it again another bandaid solution for a lack of self realization and effort to grow our own self through the challenge of thoughts of comparison and envy? Perhaps the lesson is a part of the journey, even though sometimes it’s rough.

Of course at points of time in my life I have been envious, jealous, compared myself, felt like crap etc, but I had to do the work on myself. I had to spend time reading, sitting with my own thoughts, searching for more information and knowledge, talking to people, talking to professionals etc.

Because the thing is, in life some people are more popular! NOT better, just simply more popular. It’s just how it goes. Some people get more followers, likes, engagement even if we don’t agree that person should be getting that level of attention. The key is to learning to like who you and live your life in the way that feels good for you REGARDLESS of whether the world approves of you, cheers for you or not. It’s not found in hiding likes, to make people feel better and disguise that they aren’t as popular. Because let’s be honest, the photos, perfect body, beautiful filtered photoshopped, staged pictures, dream lives, will still ignite the same feelings of not enough, regardless of whether it has 10 likes of 10,000.

I spoke to a girlfriend of mine who I asked if she felt same way, and she agreed. If we don’t like someone or something we don’t follow. We don’t look at things that make us feel bad about ourselves. I can’t be ‘sold to’ something I don’t want. And if I buy something and I don’t like it I don’t sit and sulk about it or blame others.
I can’t be forced to follow someone else’s life decisions unless they feel like they are a sensible fit for me. If I try something and it’s the wrong fit then I take the lesson and move on with more knowledge to make better decisions next time. Those are learned skills through certain experiences.

Maybe it’s time we invested more into school level education around personal development, life skills and critical thinking. Building our own self worth and self actualisation. Teaching people to write lists of pros and cons, seeing the positives and negatives, looking from all angles, then making an educated and informed decision. Showing people how it’s ok to be different and just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we should hate, dismiss or suppress each other.

Maybe it’s time we refocused and put the responsibility back on ourselves? Maybe it’s time we looked at the things causing us pain and address those things head on?

Social Media & Influencers

Lately I’ve kind of changed my perspective a little about social media and influencers.

Maybe it was because I was a bit ‘righteous’ and thinking because I was so full of integrity and morals that I seemed to in my own mind become very ‘judgy’ about the whole social media thing. Yes only in my own head or in private conversations with friends lol...not slamming negativity all over the place online, spewing my opinions, and publicly criticizing people

I was thinking about how much talk there is currently surrounding ‘likes’ being removed off peoples photos and posts, how people ‘blame’ social influencers about everything they have chosen to do with their lives and the impact it’s had on them in different areas of their life. It got me thinking.

I started to think about my own life and experiences and thought it was strange that although I struggled with many issues over my life I literally wouldn’t or couldn’t place any blame on someone else ‘influencing me’. I questioned why I was moving away from this train of thought that was becoming so popular and coming back to the realization that it wasn’t anyone else that was the problem, but the general lack of critical thinking skills and ‘poor me’ mentality that seems to becoming rampant in society. We are becoming a bit ‘soft’ in society when it comes to personal responsibility.

Truth.
In real life not everyone wins.
In real life not everyone gets the amazing genetic body to sculpt into perfection.
In real life not everyone gets to be the best at what they love to do.
In real life not everyone gets to make the big dollars.
In real life not everyone gets to the top of the company.

But you can’t love Olympic sports or support your favorite football team but then say everyone gets a trophy and there should be no score.
You can’t want to improve your health, fitness or body composition but then say that because someone else looks good they are shouldn’t show it off.
You can’t expect a pay rise throughout your own working career if you don’t believe others deserve what they earn.
You can’t expect to live your own life doing what you love if you don’t support others doing the same.

I personally don’t have a huge ‘following’ or get a tonne of ‘likes’ on social media, so why didn’t I care about the Instagram change and cheer like so many for the removal of likes? In all honesty I don’t care. I completely understand the whole self esteem, comparison, body image, self image, self worth etc argument. I see the research and science. But the question is...
Is it again another bandaid solution for a lack of self realization and effort to grow our own self through the challenge of thoughts of comparison and envy? Perhaps the lesson is a part of the journey, even though sometimes it’s rough.

Of course at points of time in my life I have been envious, jealous, compared myself, felt like crap etc, but I had to do the work on myself. I had to spend time reading, sitting with my own thoughts, searching for more information and knowledge, talking to people, talking to professionals etc.

Because the thing is, in life some people are more popular! NOT better, just simply more popular. It’s just how it goes. Some people get more followers, likes, engagement even if we don’t agree that person should be getting that level of attention. The key is to learning to like who you and live your life in the way that feels good for you REGARDLESS of whether the world approves of you, cheers for you or not. It’s not found in hiding likes, to make people feel better and disguise that they aren’t as popular. Because let’s be honest, the photos, perfect body, beautiful filtered photoshopped, staged pictures, dream lives, will still ignite the same feelings of not enough, regardless of whether it has 10 likes of 10,000.

I spoke to a girlfriend of mine who I asked if she felt same way, and she agreed. If we don’t like someone or something we don’t follow. We don’t look at things that make us feel bad about ourselves. I can’t be ‘sold to’ something I don’t want. And if I buy something and I don’t like it I don’t sit and sulk about it or blame others.
I can’t be forced to follow someone else’s life decisions unless they feel like they are a sensible fit for me. If I try something and it’s the wrong fit then I take the lesson and move on with more knowledge to make better decisions next time. Those are learned skills through certain experiences.

Maybe it’s time we invested more into school level education around personal development, life skills and critical thinking. Building our own self worth and self actualisation. Teaching people to write lists of pros and cons, seeing the positives and negatives, looking from all angles, then making an educated and informed decision. Showing people how it’s ok to be different and just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we should hate, dismiss or suppress each other.

Maybe it’s time we refocused and put the responsibility back on ourselves? Maybe it’s time we looked at the things causing us pain and address those things head on?

Lightworkers

You are a human. 
First.
In recent times we have been mislead, manipulated and distracted to believe the most important things in life are our social status, our jobs and titles, how much stuff we have, and our looks and body.

We are humans. 
We have lost a lot of the connection with what it is to be a human.
First and foremost our job is to be a kind, compassionate, encouraging and helpful humans.

We make such a point about kindness for our children and how horrible bullying is. 
We are focused on the message that the most important thing our children should be is kind and good people.
But yet why aren’t we making the same focus and commitment as adults. It’s like we forget the emphasis on this along the way.

Lightworker.
This has become the most important job for me over the past year. 
Yes I am a health and fitness professional, a qualified teacher, a coach, a wife, daughter, friend and more.
But still my number one job on this planet is a Lightworker. Because a lightworker makes the conscious commitment to being a better person and creating awareness of the bigger picture. 
EVERYTHING evolves from here. 
It is the foundation of my entire life as a human. It makes me value my life, have perspective, love and cherish my family and friends, have fun, and also make sure I treat everyone I meet with kindness and compassion and good vibes✌️It means that in everything I do as I pass through my days, I do it with kindness and compassion, and good intentions.

We need to create a world of lightworkers.
Children, adults, all genders, all colors, all nationalities, all sizes, all religions. 
All humanity. 
I want the entire world to recognize themselves first and foremost as a lightworker. It doesn’t matter how you do it, what your daily grind is, your gender, race, or anything else. It doesn’t matter if you help 1 person or 100000.
It only matters that you CHOOSE to become the light and a part of this movement that can truly change the world. 
Bringing the ‘human’ back to humanity.
Beautiful humans....Will you commit? 
Just write #TeamLightWorker  in the comments section below if you want to join me on this commitment to help make the world a brighter and nicer place for all🌼

“When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren't pessimistic, you don't understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren't optimistic, you haven't got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world.” – Paul Hawkin #Lightworker #BeTheChange #Truth

Team Lightworker

I adopted the name and created my own little concept around the term ‘Lightworker’ because I felt it is a way for people to come together who want to be a part of something beautiful in the world, and want to live in a positive and happy mindset. It’s also perfect for those of us who are currently feeling a little lost, a little defeated, overwhelmed or a little down because it gives you a place to go where you can feel apart of a community. It offers us all a wonderful purpose to help guide us while we are still understanding our life and working out what our true gifts are, and while our purpose unfolds.

For most people it takes time and lots of life experience to finally understand what their own unique, beautiful and magical job is in this world. In the midst of life confusion, challenges, feeling alone, sadness, outcast, or any other of those things we feel throughout our moments in life, committing to being a Lightworker has the ability to literally change your life and ease your hardship. Even for those of us who are living well but just feel like ‘somethings missing’ or we just want to be involved in being a part of something good in the world.

It brings us back to being ‘human’ and a part of something bigger than ourselves.
It encourages us to be a part of the change. When the world is tough and you feel like it’s all a bit much, giving yourself meaning can make all the difference. So much of my life joy is built off this commitment because everyday I wake up with my number one job and calling to be a Lightworker. Everything else just flows from that mindset. I’m a better wife, better friend, better at my job, and an overall better human.

When you ‘join the team’ you create a much more beautiful meaning to your life. Through bringing kindness, compassion, love and positive vibes to the world, it will literally light up your day....and even on the hardest of days it may well help you get through another hour.

Focus on the gentleness, the empathy, the kindness of your nature and use that to show yourself how much you matter, and how much the world needs someone like you. Shower your pets with love. Catch up with friends or loved ones and find out how they are doing. Write notes for your blog, website or social media content that puts light, perspective and beauty into the world or someone else’s life. Treat everyone nicely as you move through your day and show them that kindness still exists in the world. Volunteer. Go to your job or school and bring good vibes with you.

Use this tribe to never feel alone and to always be a part of the most wonderful community. That’s what I wish for. It’s time to bring the best of yourself to the world and share that beauty. You will see ten fold how much your mindset shifts, your days become brighter, your heart become lighter, and your perspective of life become so much more positive and joyful.

Love you guys xxx #TeamLightWorker

“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.” 🌻
Leo F. Buscaglia

Social Media and Mindset

#thoughtsfortheday

Fill your social media and home pages with profiles and people who make you feel good, who challenge you to think deeper, who encourage you to work on yourself, to be the best person you can be, and who allow you to feel more connected to a greater purpose and passion. 

There are so many beautiful people and profiles that draw you in and look good from the outside, but if you pay attention you'll realise they are doing nothing more that keeping you focused purely on how your body looks and how much you apparently are lacking when it comes to material things. 

When coaching my clients I show them my Facebook home page (Instagram is a little harder because the home page chooses what it shows you). Now I don't spend a lot of time 'scrolling' but I have intentionally set up all the important pages I want to 'see first'. For me personally, it's filled with the stuff that matters to the true me like animal welfare pages, human rights, environmental and travel, authors and thought leaders. By doing this I ensure I use social media in the most positive way. Anything animal welfare, environmental or human rights brings me perspective no matter what my mindset is in that particular moment. It is a constant reminder of how lucky I am and keeps me focused on what really matters so I don't fall into the trap of 'drama' and getting caught up in life's BS. Authors and thought leaders keep me thinking, growing, learning and constantly searching for new information that helps me continue to work on being a better person, adding value to the world, and also allows me to help and coach others more effectively. 

Many years ago my feed was filled with every bikini, fitness model, competitor, influencer etc. I came across that had the most perfect feed, looked stunning, had the incredible body and posted 'motivational' quotes, and were mostly all about nutrition, training and body goals. Now of course that was MY CHOICE to bring that into my space, however all it brought to my life was constant thoughts about food, training and working on achieving body goals. In fact the so called motivation and inspiration I was looking for and thinking I was receiving was actually coming from a negative place, not a positive one. I wasn't looking at these images thinking 'my digestion is poor, my mind is not clear, I'm lacking energy...I need to improve my food choices and lifestyle habits to take better care of myself'. It was actually resulting in me focusing even more on my external self and a place of 'I need to start sticking to my food tighter so I can lean up and look better', hidden behind a message of health and fitness. 

If you are constantly thinking about food,  training, body goals, and your life is revolving around these areas in a detrimental way, then I believe the best place to start is to clean up your feed and stop following all the health and fitness inspo, and instead start following profiles that get you thinking more about your life goals, what you want to get out of your life, who you want to be, what makes you feel good inside, and what brings your beautiful light to the world in the most brightest way.

Body Positivity?

Be proud of your body, love your body, accept your body...don't get me wrong these are all great sentiments with mostly goodwill behind them, however I can't seem to get on board with these messages entirely because I think we should be more concerned with WHY the fuck are we so focused and concerned with how our body 'looks' purely on the outside in the first place? 

All this body positive and self-love etc has the right intentions but if we look at the foundations of what is going as opposed to trying to fix the surface level stuff, the whole problem is WHY should we be focusing so much on our bodies at all? Our lives should be about actually living, contribution, experiences, making memories...not wasting (in most cases) our entire lives trying to 'love our body' and 'accept' it. I think that we should instead be working on cutting off mindless social media scrolling, manipulative marketing, 'following' influencers who 'motivate' us from a negative place and not a positive one. We need to instead be encouraging each other to get on with your lives, find things you love and enjoy and are are passionate about, spending time around people who truly love and cherish you, and having more important conversations. 

Today while I was working, I stopped and  consciously thought about whether I was 'proud' of my body or not. I came to the conclusion that I was neither really lol, because frankly it's binary. I literally have my health, the privilege to live an optimal life in a wonderful country, loved ones who care for me, and more important things to do on this planet that spending my day trying to make myself 'love my body'. I mean seriously is all that effort really truly helping the issue? Or is it in fact keeping you stuck in a headspace consumed with thoughts on how your body looks. It is yet again another way that keeps us thinking about and focused on our body and appearance.

I think the better solution for the majority of women is to actually change your perspective completely. Instead of committing your life trying so hard to accept your body, let's instead get so fully engaged in life and aim to commit our thoughts and each day to more important things that bring joy and purpose.

I guess my question is that instead of spending soooo much time engaged in thinking about our body, positive or negative, why are we even thinking about our body's that much at all?

#thoughtsfortheday

Why can't I lose those last few kgs?

Why can't I lose those last few kgs?😔

One thing I see EVERYDAY is fit, healthy young women who are ALREADY 'in shape' and look great chasing this crazy low level body fat and torturing themselves mentally as to why they can't ever reach their 'goal'. It's because sadly the health and fitness, diet industry, and society have misled you to believe that's the place you need to reach to be happy and worthy, however they fail to mention that for 99% of women it is COMPLETELY unrealistic without a huge amount of sacrifice and at the expense of being able to live a great life.

Look there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself or reshape your body, however let me tell you straight up...the 'ideal' most of you are chasing is going to require a LOT of commitment and dedication when it comes to food and lifestyle. It is not 'easy' and will require a HUGE amount of focus around food and training, in most cases dominating your life.

Personally I can be leaner. I've done it and know how to do it, BUT just to 'look' a certain way that is glamourised in the fitness and online world means I lose my quality of life. The only thing it would add to my life is that I would 'sell' more programs to all of you who buy into the lies and manipulative advertising you are bombarded with every day.

The last 3-5kgs you are killing yourself to lose and making your life miserable over, is usually where your body naturally wants to be, and also where it functions at its best.

The question I always ask people in the healthy category (which is most women who are active and eat a moderate diet) is 'do you want to be LEANER, or do you want to be HAPPIER???'
Because honestly that is usually the choice that you have to ultimately make💙 #truth

Reality and Social Media

Today I was looking through Marcus's iPhone album on the computer. As I clicked through the photos I realized how many photos of me never really 'made the cut'. Not that I go to outrageous efforts taking photos but I still (like everyone) judge my photos harshly against all the perfect photos of people with perfect outfits, perfect hair, perfect make up and perfect angles.

As I went back I started to save each of these images, because although at the time all I saw was an 'average photo', today I saw something more that actually hit me at a deeper level.

In retrospect these photos showed me in a different way. A real way. As a human. As me. I saw the truth in these photos and it actually upset me a little. While we all are chasing the perfect image and engaging online with the 'beautiful pictures' we tend to lose sight on who we really are, and often overlook people who could add so much value to our lives simply because they don't always have a perfect reel of high quality photos. Many of my images I admit, look 'pretty', but on closer inspection in comparison to these images, I just don't think they actually have the true spirit of who I am.

In a non egotistical and narcissitc way, I like me. I like that above everything else I am a kind person who cares. I am a deeply thoughtful person who has a crazy busy mind, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I have great perspective of what matters and am extremely grateful and appreciative for my life. I have integrity, values, and morals that I stand for proudly. I realize that no amount of money, no particular body, no amount of likes, follows or adoration will bring me true satisfaction in life. I know I have made mistakes and done some crazy shit in my life, but I have never intentionally hurt someone or done anything with malice. I have a passion for helping people, no matter how small a difference I can make. I can't help everyone, but I can treat everyone with the empathy and give them my best effort. I'm a human with a story like everyone else and I truly just want everyone to find happiness and live a beautiful fulfilling life, while being kind to others and allowing them to do the same.

It clicked to me today that I am actually really fucking hard on myself and instead of worrying about 'engagement' (not the 'like' kind, but I just really want to get my message heard amongst all the BS dominating social media in order to help people who are really struggling ) and getting the right photos, I need to just keep putting epic CONTENT out there and the people who need to hear my voice will see it no matter what the image is that goes with it.

Each of these photos actually have a memory of a moment for me, not just simply taken to meet social media standards.

#thoughtsfortheday

Undoing the Damage

I can remember a time when I was younger and thought of myself as an athlete and I was inspired for improving and succeeding in sports. I truly believed that and enjoyed this part of my life. I was always a sporty and fit kid. I NEVER considered my body shape or thought about food. I was happy just playing sport, hanging out with my friends, getting into mischief at school and dreaming about all the things I had planned for life.

As I grew up somewhere this was lost along the way.

Back then I never thought about food. I just ate well and enjoyed treats. I loved exercise and loved being the fit and strong, sporty girl. I loved kicking a football with the boys at lunch and lifting weights once I entered sports development programs. Exercise was never considered to be connected with 'how I looked', it was purely about how it made me feel. Then as I got older and found my career, slowly my industry changed, and changed that. I slowly started to learn too many rules about nutrition, and once I became involved in competitive body shaping my relationships with food, training and my body completely changed.

I can clearly remember the times when I was so happy and proud that I wasn't the girl that only ordered a 'salad', but I was perfectly confident and somewhere inside had a belief that I was healthy, and I never connected that to how my body looked. In those days I actually never really got the whole ‘salad’ idea, or was aware and understood about girls and diets. 

As I moved through my late 20's and 30's something drastically changed. Food became a constant worry and stress in my life. Exercise became a 'have to' in order to ‘fix’ my physique. I even remember being told when I started out in the sport that I didn't have a good 'genetic structure', and that I didn't have 'good shape'. At time I was also told by some people I had gotten too lean, or that I looked too skinny. Other times I was told I was getting too muscular and big, to then be told by others that I wasn't lean enough or to some it I looked like I had gained weight. Looking back it saddens me that I was told to believe that my body was not 'good enough' and that there was essentially something wrong with it. 

Regardless of what shape I have been in at any point in my life, what I think people forget is that the inside remains the same. Yes our minds expand and our souls grow over time, but we are the same incredible person placed on this planet no matter how our body's changes over the years. At the end of the day our bodies will change over time and there is no stopping it. We grow, we develop, we mature, we age. 

I started way back in the beginning before the boom and what has become a massive industry in Australia over the past few years. As I look back I realize that is was in fact not what I thought it would be. I envisioned that getting my education and working hard would allow me to help other women be fit and healthy so they could live a good quality life, and hopefully prevent lifestyle related diseases later in later years. That was what all health and fitness was all about right? Somewhere along the way it seemed like it was not about that at all. It became about low levels of body fat, having abs, following ‘rules’ about food, thigh gaps, having a specific body type, and fitting the model of ‘perfection’ just like in the modelling industry. It wasn't for the majority any more about what originally made me so passionate about pursuing this goal as a fitness model and health professional.

I know I can’t change the world, but I know I can be the light for many people. I can choose integrity and truth. I may not make a difference to everyone’s lives, but I can make a difference to someone’s. I had to learn all over again in my 30’s what it is to be ‘fit and healthy’. I had to break the daily obsession with food, training and how my body looked. And now I want to share that message with you all in the hope that you to can think back to a time when you were a ‘life’. Someone with hopes and dreams. Someone who had fun and played in life. A person who at one stage didn’t have their body and food as their sole daily focus. I encourage you to challenge these aspects of your life that are not positive, disconnect to anything that sends you messages of what your ‘ideal’ body should be, and fight the programmed idea that you are lesser because you don’t fit society’s image of beauty that we are sold.

Social Media Sanity - How to protect yourself from scrolling!

A few tips on how to do social media better my babes🔀

🐝Get off the home pages and stop scrolling! You don't need to see what everyone else is doing constantly. By all means follow family and close friends, and those that matter, but stop wasting time reading all the crap you really don't need to see. Instead get out and get involved and engaged in your own life.

🐝When it comes to influencers or people on social media who in some way I inspire you, make sure they ACTUALLY inspire you some way to be a better person and add value to your life. Pick a handful who make you feel better about yourself or challenge your life and thoughts in a positive way, and only follow their posts or check in on their pages. There are too many of you following 'inspos' that if you paid attention and were honest with yourself, you would have to realize that most of them are in fact making you feel worse about yourself. This is especially true in the fitness world. You flood your feeds with all these perfect photos of beautiful women with amazing bodies and tell yourself they are (insta) famous so they are motivation for you, but they really aren't! They make you even more critical of your body, only ever reference food and training, body goals etc and make you actually more consumed with how you should look in a bikini. Stop following just because everyone else does, and start disconnecting from any accounts that are not really adding value to your life.

🐝Allow a window of time for social media. Set out a time to check in, then put your phone away. If you have kids or a partner then start to spend more time with them than scrolling social media. Imagine what your relationships could be like if you invested as much time into mindless scrolling and instead spending time with the people who actually matter in your life.

🐝Those of you who follow people you don't like or to 'watch the train wreck'...I mean seriously what a complete waste of your life! Be better than that. What kind of opportunities are you missing out on in your life while you invest your time into people you don't even like, respect, or bring anything of value into your life. Stop 'checking in' to see what they are doing. It's none of your business, and you shouldn't care. Because regardless of how their life is, they are in some part still living it while you follow theirs....instead of living your own. Again, what a waste of your awesomeness.

Don't get me wrong, there are positives to social media, just people in general don't know how to manage it. People need to have boundaries around their online environment and what they let into their world. From my experiences and exposure to so many women I see too much unhappiness and unfulfilled lives which are very much to do with social media. So while it's perfectly ok to engage with the online word, ensure you are using it in a way that it's designed to add to your life, not make it miserable. Just like everything, it's about balance⚖

PS - yes my eyes are brown😉 
This photo was edited on an app to change my eye colour for fun✌🏼️

Comparison and Self-Worth

So many unhappy women out there. Sadly mostly to do with comparison, their body and how they look in a bikini😔

Firstly I am going to give you a few tips on where change begins and how implementing these 4 habits into your daily routine will significantly improve your life.

1. Training- don't underestimate the power of moving your body. Screw how training makes you look, and instead focus on how it makes you FEEL!!! People get unmotivated a lot of the time and only get inspired to exercise when they decide to get 'fit', in shape, or lose weight. Don't use training purely to chase a body goal, as often it takes a lot of time to actual see change or completely reshape your body. If you instead place the importance of how you feel, you will get a result every single session. Training improves your mood, your energy, your self-confidence and your overall well-being. And no fancy clothes, hours a day, or even a gym required. There are plenty of free workouts online, or email me and I'll share you my free 15 minutes for 15 days training challenge💪🏼

2. Start eating a more balanced diet of the food you enjoy. Screw what anyone else does, find what works for you and enjoy. Start with a basic foundation and slowly adjust the areas you need to as you go to create a nutrition approach you like🍉🍌🍏🍒🌽🍅🍆🍞🍳

3. Meditation- Spend time every day taking some time out and doing a meditation. Again, there are loads of free ones online. They can be 2 minutes to over an hour, and can be about anything. Just google 'free meditation' and a topic (eg overwhelm, unhappy, uplifting, stressed, overeating etc)🙇

4. Read a book- Such a forgotten treasure in the world of the Internet and social media. Set aside 15 minutes every day for reading. I mean do it on the toilet if you have to lol. Self development titles are a great place to start. If you can't afford to buy a new book then you can sign up at a library.📚

People are spending too much time focused on what other people are doing and what 'success' is for somebody else. You can have all the money and fame in the world and be unhappy. I mean look at so many celebrities out there, addicted to drugs and alcohol, suicide etc. There are also plenty of people with great bodies and who 'look perfect' but have f-cked up lives.

Stop chasing other people's dreams because you are so consumed with social media and what you see online and following along with what society makes out to be 'success'. To me finding success is not a one fit answer. You can live a freaking incredible life by putting down your phone and connecting with the people around you that you love. You can be so freaking happy by finding a job that pays enough money but you are so passionate about or know that you are making a difference to the world. And don't underestimate any job! Every person is of value in the world, and even the jobs you may think of as less still make a huge contribution to the planet and people.

Sadly there are so many miserable people in the world because they have forgotten to listen to their own heart and go with what they truly want, as they are so clouded by what others want and promote as the benchmark for what being happy and successful is. If you truly have a calling to make billions of dollars or be famous, even instafamous lol, or have that perfect body, then by all means go for it and totally slay! But the whole world wasn't born to do that yet that is what majority of the world is striving for solely because that's what they think will bring them happiness. It's total BS!

There are soooo many talented, amazing, intelligent women out there wasting their gifts and not living a fulfilling life because they are sitting around following someone else posting pretty pictures on social media and getting some attention that really shouldn't mean jack shit to you. If you feel like you need more value then you need to spend more time with people who actually matter in your life, not looking for it in randoms online. Start challenging yourself ladies. Get off social media for 2 weeks and read. Go for walks and start reconnecting to your soul and think about what you would truly love to do in the world and get some clarity back.

A happy life is there waiting for anyone who decides that it's more important than doing things for other people's recognition and acknowledgement😘