For anyone who knows me, knows that I am not the most culinary person! I never was able to cook, and in fact found it utterly unenjoyable and a really boring chore.
I realised the other day how much I now love, and look forward to, my weekly grocery shop and creating beautiful meals. I mean my mother or anyone who knows me would be like 'what the actual fuck???' Haha
It's so cool because the past few years I look back and see how the transformation came through no longer seeing food as wholey and solely tied to 'weight loss', 'body goals' and my 'physique'. I used to only see food as 'how my body physically looked'. Because I was so consumed with my body shape and constantly thought about food, of course food was a stress and I wasn't able to enjoy it. The only (momentary) enjoyment came from binging on processed foods that tasted so good when I finely cracked from all or nothing mentality.
Now food has such a bigger meaning. It's about health, enjoyment, FEELING good, and sharing that with my husband. The external results are just the bonus. Yeah the body may not be as 'aesthetically' perfect as it once was, but I'll take overall wellness over a flawless physique any day.
Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with body goals and wanting to transform your physique, but it is more a question of 'are you chasing other people's goals, dreams, or society's ideals?'. Or do you really truly have a passion for the art of reshaping your body? You have to reconnect with the deeper level of who you are and work out if your goals are bringing something wonderful to your life and are feeding your soul, or are they bringing a sadness and are at a detriment.
The more simplistic and aware my life has become the more joy I find in the everyday things. I feel a wave of happiness shopping now because I buy foods that feel good to me. I love the beauty of so many fresh fruits and vegetables, buying the plant based beetroot and black bean patties that Marcus and I enjoy on our weekly burger night. I love buying the ingredients for our pizza night. I love buying all the different types of beans for the yummy variety of salad and vegetable mixes I will make over the weeks. I love selecting all the different carbs like sweet potatoes, rice, quinoa, red potatoes, butternut pumpkin and thinking about whether I'll roast them, steam them, mash them. Just being so lucky to have food so accessible and available is something to be grateful for.
I also still enjoying picking out a few treats hehe. Marcus loves things like fancy nut butters, almond dark chocolate and difference types of mayo sauces whereas I am still a true treat monster at heart so throw in the current favourites of chocolate covered licorice and maxibons #treatmonsterforlife
So while we do our best and are plant based and extremely conscious of our food choices and the impacts it has on the greater world, environment and other living beings, we aren't always 'perfect', but live in a way that feels good to us and where we are at in our lives.
Even making food at night now is so beautiful. I always listen to music that makes me FEEL good and soak up the moment of preparing all the beautiful rainbow colours of the gorgeous food we have. I think I used to hate preparing food so much before because the moment was clouded by body image obsession and using foods that weren't right for me (eg chicken, eggs, turkey...I never ate red meat). I discovered that I absolutely hated cooking those meats because I would literally have to chop every speck off them, I hated touching the raw meat, could never get the texture right so I could enjoy it, I would have to try and disguise the 'meat' flavour in any way possible etc. Yet I forced myself to eat in this way for years because of my 'commitment' to my (distorted) health, fitness and physique goals. I literally went against everything that felt good to me and struggled like hell, simply because I followed what every bit of 'science' told me and what everyone else was doing. These things are a helpful tool at best, but their is no greater expert than your own intuition and inner guidance.
Now I'm not saying everyone must go plant based or vegan as I don't think everyone is ready for that and if it creates stress, confusion and is overwhelming then it is either because it is not right for you, or the right choice for you at this time. I do believe that we should all try to eat a more plant based diet which focuses on vegetables, fruits and whole grains for greater health benefits and more sustainability. My point of this post is that if you are finding yourself constantly thinking and worrying about food maybe it's time to consider looking at food from a different perspective. Think about how it makes you FEEL physically, emotionally and spiritually. The answers are all their WITHIN you. Use others for inspiration and other ideas, but don't look outside too much for what often can only truly be found within🌻